Waiting for Sweet Pea- Saturday

Friday night, I kept waking up with one thought on my mind- Family Movie Party! I would wake up, get excited and then be unable to go back to sleep. I am wanting so badly to create a few good memories out of all of this so that our kids will hopefully remember those good things instead of little details like not having a mom for awhile. I waited and waited until I knew that Raja would be at work and maybe have a minute. I called and suggested my idea to which he readily agreed. Did I mention how awesome Raja is? I knew that it would be no small task for him to work a full day, come home, pick up the kids, have dinner with them then load them up for the 45min drive to Boise. It helps immensely that he doesn't have to worry about making dinner. I am nearly brought to tears every time I think about all of the willing hands from our ward that have volunteered to bring in meals and help in whatever way we may need them. So, movie night was on!
    A little later that morning, I was taken off the magnesium I.V. that I had been on since Wednesday night. The magnesium was to prevent seizures. That apparently is what divides pre-eclampsia and eclampsia- seizures. So, once my BP had stabilized, my risk had decreased and I no longer needed that extra precaution. Whether or not I will need to go back on it... who knows? For me, it was exciting because the magnesium makes your muscles weak, making me a 'fall risk', as well as possibly causes nausea and headaches. Being unhooked from all tubes and wires etc. I was then much freer to move around. Not far, but it's nice to at least get out of bed without calling for assistance. I had heard about a room down the hall that has a lot of videos, which I was really wanting to go see so I could find something we could all watch that night. I did get to go, however, I had to go in a wheelchair. Oh well, my new freedom still has limits. They are just wanting to make sure I don't do too much of anything which could end up spiking my BP. When the O.B. came in he said he was happy with the way things were looking. As long as my BP doesn't get higher, I can stay pregnant. They tell me for every day I stay pregnant that is 3 less days Sweet Pea has to be in the NICU. The O.B.'s favorite phrase is 'let's grow you older'. That is is standard game plan. As he was leaving I knew that my stability right now wasn't luck, it is a result of faith. Plain and simple. I know that many people are praying on our behalf. I know those prayers are being heard. Thank you everyone for praying. And more than anything, I am so grateful for a Father in Heaven who is hearing these prayers. Everything is in His timing and in His hands.

    My cousin, Heidi, came to visit today with her friend, Amanda, and both of their daughters. It was great to see Heidi! She had been preparing a talk for sacrament meeting in church tomorrow and asked if she could practice it. Honestly, her talk made my day. It was so beautifully written, with so much understanding and insight, it was such a blessing to be able to hear that from her. I won't be able to go to church tomorrow, but thanks to Heidi, I still got to hear a talk- and an amazing one at that. For anyone who knows Heidi, it would be more than worth it to ask her for a copy of her talk. The topic was gratitude, and she will bring you through to a different way of looking at it that will have a great impact on your perspective. Guaranteed!

   I also got a visit from our friends the Goettigs. It was a fun visit. Just before they left I asked Susan if she could teach my primary class on Sunday. Rob, let me know that the Primary secretary had already talked to him, and the class was covered for at least 3 weeks. I don't even know how that happened! Did I mention we have a great ward!?

          The family movie party went off without a hitch! It was wonderful. The kids decided to watch 'Flubber' and loved it. Even, Hashan, kept saying it was a funny movie. He walked around a lot while it was on. He kept walking over to me and touching my face or hair, then he would hug Natalia or Andrew or sit on Raja's lap. He is such a sweet boy. Natalia curled up with me in bed for most of the movie, I loved having her close. It was wonderful having the family together.

Waiting for Sweet Pea- Friday part II

After Lori left, I called Raja and told him I needed him. He dropped the kids off at the Sherman's and came as soon as he could. I also called my sister Rachel, and told her she needed to come. She had been planning to drive up from SLC to pick up our kids and take them home with her, while I was unable to care for them. I was so sure that our little Sweet Pea was coming. Shortly after, the O.B. came in, to go over some recent blood tests. Those test showed that my liver and kidneys had not yet been affected by the pre-eclampsia and that although the protein in my urine was high, the other tests were a good sign. In fact, just opposite to what I had expected, he said that if my BP remained steady that I could be moved out of the Labor and Deliver section of the hospital and into the Antepartum section. That would mean that I was more stable than I had previously been and would not need as much constant monitoring. I was so relieved! Even though that morning I had been so scared, I was glad I had faced reality. I wasn't going to be delivering as soon as I had feared, but sooner or later a premature birth and the NICU will be a part of our lives and I want to be as mentally prepared as possible. 
     By the time, Raja, got to the hospital everything had calmed down and relaxed. In fact I couldn't stay awake! As I slept, Raja, was in and out, I think he was taking the laptop to a waiting room or somewhere to work on his paper. It was comforting having him there, even though I was asleep for a good part of the time. Early afternoon, he left to pick up the kids and give Hashan the chance to have a nap at home.
        I did end up moving to the Antepartum section. I no longer need to have constant fetal monitoring, now it is only 4x's a day for about a half an hour. I have a little more freedom to get up and move around my room, but for the most part I am supposed to stay in bed to avoid elevating my BP.

Waiting for Sweet Pea- Thursday

So, Thursday was a bit hazy, as you can imagine. The lack of sleep was giving me a headache, which is also a symptom of pre-eclampsia as well as the magnesium i.v. I had. Whenever I was asked about a headache, I always followed it with a , "I think it's just from lack of sleep". That night I got an Ambien- wow, now I know what all the fuss is about! I finally got a decent night's sleep. Back to that morning- I got to meet with a Neonatologist who works here in the NICU. It was a very reassuring conversation. Everything he said was based on if our little sweet pea would be born within a week. He just wanted to give me an idea of what to expect. He said as far as receiving nutrients, the baby would first probably be on an I.V. then advance to a feeding tube and then finally be able to try to eat by mouth. That is usually the last thing these little ones get worked out before they can go home. In fact to be able to go home, they need to meet the criteria of three things. They need to be able to regulate their own body temperature, independently breath room air and be able to get enough nutrients on their own, to actually grow. He also said that the babies, generally have to stay in the NICU until they reach what would have been their 37 weeks gestation. Of course, every baby is different. This coming Tuesday, will be my 32 week mark. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that we have a long road ahead. Hopefully, sweet pea, will be able to just stay inside for longer. As a side note, I was told that I would still be able to take my placenta home for encapsulation and I should  still be able to delay the cord clamping, allowing our baby to get just a bit more from her cord.
       I'm sure I'm leaving out details, I may end up coming back to add more. Anyway, that night I got my 2nd steroid shot, which was pretty much the most important thing to me since it is so beneficial for a premature baby. Ideally, waiting until after 24 hours from the second shot, to deliver the baby is what you want. Anytime after that, it just gets safer and safer. During Thursday, they also took blood tests to determine my liver and kidney functions. Pre-eclampsia, can affect both of those organs pretty quickly. I was also in the process of a 24 hour urine test, checking for protein.
     Thursday, Raja was able to come in the morning and then again with the kids in the evening. I was so happy to see all of them. Raja has been so amazing. I don't know how he is doing it all. Not only is he a single dad right now, but he's also going to work and as if that isn't enough he's also working on his master's degree and in the processes of writing at least 2 final papers. He is awesome, that's all I have to say! We also have a super fantastic ward. Within a very short period of time meals were being arranged as well as child care. Our good friends, the Sherman's , have sort of adopted the kids lately, which has been so hugely helpful. It's so comforting to know they are with friends they enjoy in a loving home.

Waiting for Sweet Pea- Wednesday

So, this morning I got a call from my midwife letting me know that my urine test had come back showing 3x's the protein of the previous weeks test and that they were needing to transfer me to an O.B. So, yes, I got the boot! I was kicked out, abandoned, fired, sigh, oh well. Anywho, I waited all day for the new O.B. to give me a call. She was in surgery for a good chunk of the day, and then she must have gone to Disneyland, because I never heard from her. Later in the day, I was feeling yuck. A little nauseous, a very slight headache, heart racing- I just felt like I needed to lay down. The kids were in bed. It was about 10:00pm ish and I asked Raja for a blessing. We called our friend Robert Goettig to assist with the blessing and asked him to bring a BP cuff- he has cool stuff like that- he's a surgical nurse. So, he came over, BP was somewhere around 160/110 (normal is 120/80) so after the blessing, we decided to go to the ER in Caldwell. Once we got there we were taken up to Labor and Delivery. They brought in the on-call O.B. took blood tests etc. At first, we were told I would be there for about 12 hours to me monitored. Then, because of a continued high BP, they realized it would probably be not such a quick visit after all. After a few hours of monitoring, the decision was made to transfer me to Boise, to the hospital with the best NICU. So, a team of three women came into my room, all wearing these flight suits, with the words 'air team' on them. I wasn't expecting to be airlifted. My biggest fear- the bill. Luckily, well maybe, they wear those smashing suits no matter the mode of transport and I will only be receiving the bill for an ambulance ride. -Sigh of relief- And just in case anyone was wondering, an ambulance ride, as it turns out, is much more comfortable when not in labor. (For anyone who doesn't know, Natalia, was born in an ambulance.) Man, something with the girls in this family and flashing lights. So, got to Boise, got all settled in, and shortly thereafter, the sun cam up. It was a long night.